Considered one of the oldest monotheistic religions in the world, Judaism is rich in history with time-honored rites and rituals passed down for centuries including those practiced during the time of mourning known as shiva. The traditions observed during shiva help those left behind deal with the loss of a loved one while grieving with family and friends.
The word shiva actually has different meanings in various cultures found all around the world. In Hebrew, it translates to seven, the number of days in which this structured mourning period takes place. Commonly referred to as “sitting shiva” or attending this solemn event at a “shiva house,” there are different observations according to certain Jewish communities and their beliefs including:
Following the burial services, the house of the deceased, an immediate family member (spouse, child, parent or sibling), becomes a place of communal support for those in bereavement. Traditionally, these mourners remain in the house during the entire week-long period of mourning and one’s appearance is of little importance.
For those unfamiliar with Judaism and its practices, some may wonder what to bring or send to a shiva during this time. As with many families who are grieving, bringing or sending food is a common practice to show you care.
Another way to honor the deceased is to plant a tree in Israel in their name or make a donation to a designated charity, synagogue or favored charitable organization.
Covering mirrors in the house of shiva is a common practice for many people. During shiva, mourners abstain from daily rituals such as shaving or the use of cosmetics which emphasizes the belief that personal appearance is simply not important while grieving.
Mirrors are also covered as a way to remind us the observation of shiva is not about ourselves but rather a time to concentrate on the deceased. The concept of vanity is shunned as this is considered a time of self-reflection, to concentrate on one’s inner self and not outward appearances.
In the shiva house, mourners are seen seated on the floor, on pillows, low boxes, stools or smaller chairs. If a person is unable to perform this feat due to advanced age or physical impairment, they are permitted to seat themselves more traditionally. This is an outward symbol showing one’s humility, grief and the pain of the mourner being brought “low” by the passing of a loved one.
The Old Testament relates the suffering of Job in many ways and during a time of mourning it is said three friends sat with him on the ground solemnly for seven days and nights. However, the Talmud relates they sat “to the ground” and not upon it. This more literal translation is believed to be at the very root of this custom of being seated low rather than on the ground itself.
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When did the custom of covering mirrors begin?
When did the custom of burial within 24 hours begin?
Covering Mirrors has been a practice for quite some time. We do not know exactly when it began.
Covering mirrors in the house of shiva is a common practice for many people. During shiva, mourners abstain from daily rituals such as shaving or the use of cosmetics which emphasizes the belief that personal appearance is simply not important while grieving.
Mirrors are also covered as a way to remind us the observation of shiva is not about ourselves but rather a time to concentrate on the deceased. The concept of vanity is shunned as this is considered a time of self-reflection, to concentrate on one’s inner self and not outward appearances.
Burial within 24 hours is not a requirement. Among the very religious, that is the practice they try to use. The thought of traditional burial is that a burial should not be unduly delayed. There are mitigating circumstances many families face when dealing with the death of a loved one. These may include geographical issues, family being unable to travel immediately etc.
Another reason for covering mirrors (which was the main reason before people started using mirrors regularly for vanity purposes) as the belief that the dead wander about for 3 days, if they see their reflection as a dead spirit, they could continue to “haunt” the mirror and there have been several instances where people who resided after the house sold/went to next if kin, etc, saw the reflection of the person who died (even instances where the viewer had no idea what the person even long like, but later described to someone who could confirm) so for the first 3 days of Shiva, covering of mirrors is mandatory, the other 4 days is just out of respect for the dead, so they get all the mourning of Shiva (which is the point)
We’re a sad bunch, lol. But we value life, respect the dead.
Mourn the losses, for they are many, but celebrate the victories, for they are few.
We’re a bloodline that has seen a lot of tragedy, so people/outsiders tend to think we’re all cynics/depressed/”fun-suckers” but if you’ve ever been to a bar mitzvah, Jewish wedding or just danced/watched others dance to Nagilah, you’ll see we know how to party as well!
Mazel Tov!
If you are blessed with a family that honors the custom of Shiva, you will find that the love given and received by the one who has passed will in time bring you to a place of peace. You will realize that to truly honor that memory you must continue to bring that love and peace into this world through acts of kindness. A gift from the memory of Malka Sura bat Avraham.
If you are blessed with a family that honors the custom of Shiva, you will find that the love given and received by the one who has passed will in time bring you to a place of peace. You will realize that to truly honor that memory you must continue to bring that love and peace into this workd through acts of kindness. A gift from the memory of Malka Sura bat Avraham.