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An unveiling (hakamat hamatzeivah) is a graveside religious ceremony marking the formal setting of a loved one’s monument at the cemetery, as it is a religious obligation to place a marker at the grave of a loved one.
According to Jewish law the monument may be set any time at or after the sheloshim. While the custom in Israel is to have the unveiling on the sheloshim itself, most American Jews hold the unveiling service close to the end of the year of mourning.
No. Custom dictates a brief ceremony, with family and friends present. Generally, Psalms are recited, followed by some brief words about the deceased, the actual unveiling of the stone, the El Maleh Rachamim (the Memorial Prayer), and the Kaddish.
In biblical times graves were frequently marked by a pile of stones. They would be toppled by wind and rain, and people would have to re-pile the stones. Some suggest that this may explain the custom of leaving pebbles, that is, by leaving a stone, you are, in effect, resetting the “pile” of stones, and receiving credit as if marking the grave for the first time. Today, the pebbles serve as a visible sign that members of the family came to visit and remember.
For more information regarding unveiling customs and procedures, contact your Rabbi and visit www.SinaiMemorials.com.